Oh god.

I fucking still have really complicated, bad feelings about school, I realized. This whim came to me after the horrible nightmare I had last night. It's weird, I had so much fun last night at prom, but then I have this fucked up nightmare resembling the meeting my mother and I had at the end of 8th grade when those heartless motherfuckers wanted to hold me back.

Well in the dream, it started off with my mother saying that she is pulling me out of school becaue I was doing so badly, and I started crying (it's odd, because there are a couple classes I'm not failing, and I tried explaining that to her but she wouldn't hear anything of it) and god.. I could not stop crying. This was my mother, she is supportive and kind, but all of a sudden she is the evil bitch from hell that is forcing me to drop out of school.
So we went into a meeting with all of my teachers and some teachers I don't even have, and I stood up frantically and tried to start explaining to them that I was starting to love school and do better. I turned to my science teacher and she addressed someone else, and all of a sudden I was like... it was like I was invisible. I was practically screaming at them to let me explain while they agreed to have me be pulled out of school.

At the end, I found two long letters from my parents apologizing to me, saying they had to and that they didn't really want this to happen, but I didn't believe it at all.

I woke up.

D:

God, I was crying practically througout the entire dream, desperate to try to find my voice and stand up to these teachers, but I was reduced to NOTHING by them AND my parents.