Hmmm.

IS IT CAN BE LONG STORY TIEM?

A long time ago, I was in a relationship with someone. We were together for just a few months, and we broke up. I thought "I should be over this soon" even though I got a little miffed that he was with someone else within days of us breaking up. And I moved on... apparently. I went into a new relationship a couple months after the other one ended, and that was going swimmingly until my feelings changed, and I found myself wishing that I was with my ex (who was still with the girl who we got together with after we broke up). Eventually, my boyfriend at the time and I broke up and well... I thought the feelings I had for my first ex would just go away. BUT OH NOOOO. They didn't.

They got to the point where I felt like I was in love with him, and it huuuuurt so badly. This carried on for months, and then I realized a good friend of mine had a crush on him. Erm, well... him and his girlfriend broke up when they were together for almost a year, and this guy... confuses me because he had asked out my friend. And at the same time, he had moved to a different town so it was really sucky. =_= Although it felt like that sometime in that period, I finally got over him.

And I'm in my own relationship, whereas he's been with my friend for over 7 months. :3 And truely, I am happy for them. They make such a cute couple, and yet my own relationship is getting weird.

I think we rushed into a relationship too soon, and I want to break up with him. ~_~ And lately, the feelings for my ex have been flaring again. WHAT THE FUCK. Seriously, what is wrong with me? DX We aren't getting back together, and we have such a great friendship, and I don't understand why I keep getting feelings for him!

I suspect it's because I want that emotional closeness that we have, but in a relationship. I don't have that with my current boyfriend, and yet I have gone farther with him physically than I have with my past two boyfriends. I don't want to go farther with him. >_< I would be willing to if we were together for longer than two months, or if I felt that close with him on an emotional level, but we didn't establish a solid foundation by being friends for a while beforehand. We were friends for weeks prior to getting into a relationship.

Grasfhskfhsdkfdslf.

I think the ex feelings that have RESPAWNED definately came mostly from this dream that just came out of nowhere. It took place at my grandparent's old house, weirdly enough, and we were sitting on this couch when out of nowhere he kissed me, which proceeded into more kissing and me stopping for a moment saying "We're cheating on our partners" (or something to that extent), but we didn't stop. Nothing weird happened (well, that in itself is weird enough for me), but GOD. WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?

-hits head against wall-